We’re never told how to help our kids. It’s just, here you go with your new baby, and good luck. Even the habits we learned from our childhood from our own parents, might be very different from the way we want to go about parenting. Even if we liked how our parents went about things when we were young, it’s often hard to remember what exactly they did. Times are changing fast, and it’s not only hard to keep up with life’s pace, but it’s not always easy to feel confident about how we raise our kids.
So the best way to distill a few simple principles out of the whole microcosm we call “parenting”. Let’s break down the different areas of childcare, and look at things from a developmental perspective -info that is backed by research, often taught in university classes, and then tried out in the homes of parents just like me and you.
Basic Developmental Needs of Children:
The basic care of children begins with security, food, clothing and shelter. These basics provided by parents that care, builds a bond and trust which will allow the nervous system of each and every child flourish. Easy, right?
In the US, 40% of parents are not bonded with their children. 1 in 5 have a learning disability! Crazy statistics for sure! Given these basic statistics, it’s time to start asking what are we as parents doing to help our kids? Are we just to stressed to pay attention?
Here at Swami Mommi, we think its a very important question. It’s important to think what we are doing as parents these days.
Firsst, we know there is no auto-pilot. The years and years of education in school where we were told what to do, makes it almost impossible to be confident in thinking for ourselves as parents. But that’s OK, maybe we can just be a little intimidated, and think for ourselves anyway.
The main obstacle remains peer (adult, yes it exists) pressure and how we as a culture are marketed to constantly. From our devices alone, we are bombarded with do this, do that, buy this, wear that, eat this. Yes, this blog is a part of that culture too!
Realize that only YOU know what is right for your kids and family. Take the suggestions here at Swami Mommi and filter out what is important for you and your very own family. That will make step one of parenting, ” THINK FOR YOURSELF” as good as done.
Good Parenting Step #1:
Think for Yourself -A natural principle in mindful parenting.
Providing safety, food, shelter and clothing for you kids, on your own terms is the idea. If you want to go with the latest fad, maybe that is right for your family. If you want to take your family in a totally different direction, that might just be fine too. Here is the break down of how to get there.
- Get quiet. (Put down your device in the moments when “quiet” is possible-slow down and don’t fill every minute of you day with devices and activities. )
- Go to a place where you can hear yourself think.
- Breath in a few times, deeply.
- Ask yourself this question: “What is most important right now about my family that I can assist them with?”
- Reach into your mind and emotions and answer it.
- Ask yourself this question: “What is the right solution or action to take with my family.”
- Reach into your mind and emotions and answer the question. Sometimes an answer will just come!
- Put action to your answer. You might feel silly if it is against the grain. It might be easy. Chances are that as you do this practice of “checking in” with yourself as a parent, the actions you need to take as a parent will never be always easy or always be hard.
To make this process more informed, meditation practice is helpful. Meditation opens the mind up to “quiet” and frees the mind from constant chatter. Another helpful practice is prayer. And also, learning about good child-rearing practices from good resources is also key. Look for sources over time so you can slowly but surely become more aware as a parent.
Here at Swami Mommi, we want to make it easy to get to good resources.
If you join our e-mail list here, we’ll send you targeted info to your mail box whenever we send a new parenting article to print.We’ll also be sure to connect you with other amazing sites with good info.
5 “basic needs” every child has + every mindful parent needs to know.
Every child needs these basic things.
There are of course a slew of other things that help children to flourish. Sensory experiences, love, emotional understanding, firm limits and many more. It will be important to learn about why these are a few of the other important, although not basic, needs of children as well.
Remember, as you gather information, just don’t forget to think for yourself as a parent. It is the number one concept that everyone needs to know when it comes to mindful parenting.
There is no recipe for success except to go out there and blaze a trail that is uniquely your own a a parent. And we here at Swami Mommi, we support you!